The Only QB Rankings That Matter This Year, Faking a Hole-In-One, and Other Absurd Stories

Jason and Frankie are back to weekly with football finally here, kicking things off with fantasy league housekeeping before rolling into a full 2026 quarterback rankings segment. Josh Allen takes QB1, Frankie goes bold with Joe Burrow at two, and his Dak Prescott ranking at five gets the appropriate amount of grief. There's also a keeper debate for the ages of Rashee Rice in the sixth versus Tyler Warren in the sixteenth, and a genuinely great bit where the guys try to sort out whether Jason's dad Bruce actually still has Brock Purdy as a keeper (spoiler: he dropped him for five days last November and forgot).

Then the news dump: Kirk Cousins and Maxx Crosby get into an actual practice-field fight in Vegas, Adam Vinatieri turns his Hall of Fame speech into a full roast, Carson Beck looks great in the Hall of Fame Game a week after the guys clowned Arizona's quarterback situation, and the Fat Kelce AI conspiracy officially gets debunked by Andy Reed himself. On the absurd side: a former NFL receiver gets arrested for having sex in a mall arcade, Akron is raffling off play-calling rights for its season opener and Robert Morris fans are buying tickets just to sabotage it, and a Hollywood, Florida steakhouse is now hosting monthly nude dinners. The back half is dominated by an incredible amateur golf cheating scandal where a guy fakes a hole-in-one to steal a hole-in-one pot of cash, plus Michael Block acting like Michael Block, and a wave of new running back contracts (Bijan, Jonathan Taylor, Gibbs) and the Cowboys locking up Quinnen Williams.

Topics covered: 2026 fantasy quarterback rankings, Rasheed Rice vs. Tyler Warren keeper debate, Brock Purdy keeper mixup, Kirk Cousins/Maxx Crosby fight, Adam Vinatieri Hall of Fame speech, Carson Beck Hall of Fame Game, Fat Kelce AI debunked, Stedman Bailey arcade arrest, Akron football play-calling raffle, Florida nude steakhouse dinner, golf hole-in-one cheating scandal, Michael Block walk-off, Bijan Robinson/Jonathan Taylor/Jahmyr Gibbs/Quinnen Williams contract extensions.